It’s the most magical time of the year ✨

Except when it isn’t…

The holidays can bring up every emotion. You can have the sweetest memories warming your heart, excitement in anticipation of holiday traditions, or be overcome by deep sorrow in knowing the person you wish would walk through the door never will again. 

It can be a joyful time from all the gathering, community, sweet treats & breaking bread, or be a web of deep sadness from financial burdens, hurtful family members, loss or sickness. The stress of running from one holiday party to the next can be overwhelming enough to put us over the edge. 

Sometimes we may think, “why me?”

When I stop and remember what this season is really about, I think of Mary going into labor with Jesus. She would have been experiencing contractions, labor pains, anxiety over what is happening to her body and the safety of her baby, with no where to go. She may have felt alone going through this foreign experience that she didn’t choose. Joseph trying everything to provide, but was only able to find shelter in a home for animals. While making a bed for their newborn in a feeding tray, I imagine her looking into His eyes after she realizes He’s finally here. Magical yes, but there must have been so much desperation in the unknown. 

I bet Mary thought to herself, “why me?”. 

After 30+ years of caring for Him, guiding Him and seeing the impact His life made on the world, she then witnesses her own son’s brutal death on the cross. How hard must it have been to celebrate His birthday each year after?

I bet Mary didn’t always feel so Merry…

Jesus’ life has given us many gifts:

🎁 Hope in the uncertain

🎁 Safety in the storms

🎁 Gratitude in all circumstances 

🎁 Love, unconditionally

🎁 Forgiveness, Grace and Mercy

🎁 Perseverance to move through the hard

🎁 Light in the darkness 

🎁 Peace in the middle of it all

🎁 A temporary home while we anticipate the promise of Heaven

It has been 2 years since my Sweet Momma started Hospice. I held her hand and guided her through her departure from this life that ended a week before Christmas. She joined my big brother and many more loved ones in Heaven.

Our holidays and dinner table have transformed into an image in my mind more than reality. 

Sometimes I have flashbacks that singe the ache in my heart, and sometimes glimmers that wrap me right up in a hug.

They say time heals, and I didn’t believe them. The pain was too harsh. 

But, time allows you the opportunity to look back and see how far you’ve come, and see it didn’t fully break you. 

Time allows you to learn to walk in love, grow a beautiful and vibrant garden of life, even with holes in your heart. 

Time allows you to see the light, right in the middle of the darkest valleys. 

Today is a gift if you use it in the right way.

But grief, it has no timeline. 

The shadow of grief comes from many places, shapes and forms. An unexpected job loss you didn’t see coming, a diagnosis you can’t comprehend, a loved one not responding, a phone call saying the word deceased, a dream that seems will never come true…

If you are hurting, feeling lost or defeated. You are not forgotten. You are not alone.

Recognizing how little control we have is humbling, and can bring relief. 

What is happening to you is not your fault.

What we do have control over is how we respond to this broken world we’ve been placed in. We can control how we treat others, and which emotions we hold on to and which ones we move through and learn to let go.

Pain is inevitable, but long term suffering is optional. 

When the tides change, and life as you know it will never be the same, where will you turn?

Everyone has faith in something. Like running water, their paycheck, that they can see that person next week, or that the sun will come up tomorrow. 

What about when you find your security in your family member, your job title, or your health? What if they completely disappoint you, or the worst case scenario comes true and they are gone? 

What is your faith in when you are in the middle of the storm, and it takes away things and people you thought would always be there?

We can still find overwhelming peace, joy and magic even in the knowing that everything has its season, and everything is temporary on this earth. 

In time, you can find a path forward and realize life is still worth celebrating.

All of our journeys look different. We have to create the best experience we can, with what we have, because we are not promised tomorrow. 

Look around and admire what you do have. Gratitude is medicine.

The farther I’ve walked along my path, I’ve realized we are all just walking each other Home. Broken hearts let the most light in ✨

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Here’s a little perspective from my walk with my old friend, Grief.

Grief is shocking, as if the air is taken from your lungs and you collapse to the ground at the words being spoken to you.

…God is there, picking you back up again.

Grief is helpless, as if you are screaming from the deepest part of your soul, but no one hears you.

…God is there, always listening. 

Grief is painful, as if you are searching for the knife in your chest.

…God is there, wrapped around you with his healing hands at work.

Grief is disguising, as if you are looking in the mirror, but you’re no longer there.

…God is there, seeing you growing into the person you are meant to be. 

Grief is confusing, as if your vision is blurry and each day is just a terrible dream.

…God is there, clearing the path He made for you. 

Grief is searching, as if you are swimming in the darkness and you can’t find your way.

…God is there, perfectly placing people in your life to guide you.

Grief is endless, like knowing to take away this pain would mean to take away your love for them.

…God is there, with the promise of Heaven, without a doubt they are there waiting for you.

Grief is accepting, like realizing the blessing of having them in your life overpowers all the pain of the present.

…God is hope. God is love. God holds the answers.

Through the darkness there is light, God knows the way through ✨

“By the tender mercy of our God, the dawn from on high will break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.” Luke 1:78-79